It’s almost time to leave. I
loved it here, no doubt, but I think I’m ready go to go home and see my family,
in particular my Mom. This place can’t really be summed up in a few words
within a blog post, mostly because all of the descriptive words I would use
would contradict each other (i.e. relaxing, stressful). Truth be told, I’m
exhausted. From squeezing everything I want to do in these past few weeks,
having my Mom here, cramming to get final papers and assignments done,
switching internships and getting little to no sleep, my tired-ness goes
bone-deep, my friend. I want a fluffy bed, a cat and a 12 hour period of time
strictly reserved as Val’s Sleeping time, with the only noise allowed coming
from a massive fan next to my head.
But on a more serious note,
I’ve learned an insane amount of stuff here. It want’s always enjoyable
learning these things, especially when it had to do with patience or sharing
common spaces with 18 other people, but I know for a fact I’ve change a lot. I
just don’t know how. Not until I separate myself from this place and give
myself time to process will I really figure out how I’ve been impacted by being
here. Once I breathe for a bit I think it’ll smack me in the face with the
grace and force of a mac-truck. Mom, prepare yourself for the mess that is
coming to greet you at the airport and for the week or so post-study abroad.
It’s not gonna be pretty.
Going off that subject, I’m
apprehensive about going home because I’m going to be bored. I’m going to be
bored, probably grow out of a few friends, be discontent with living at home
and NOT have the option of walking out of my bedroom door and asking Manuela or
Cassie if they want breakfast. I’m NOT going to have the option of climbing
Table Mountain on a random Saturday. And it’s normal, I know, missing what you
no longer have or exaggerating memories to make them seem cooler than they
were, but I genuinely loved those parts of being here. That is a fact, not an
exaggeration. I like living with my friends and I like being able to do
exciting things on a whim. At home, the most exciting and spontaneous it gets
is going to Ocean City, which is actually not exciting or spontaneous because
everyone and their mom goes there just about every weekend. I’m going to miss
the autonomy and independence of living abroad as well as the friends/family
I’ve made (really, with the uncensored way we act with one another we might as
well be family). I’m never going to be able to recreate this trip, with these
people in this house on this program, and it makes me kind of sad. Which
doesn’t make much logical sense because you can never recreate ANY memory with
the same exact people at the same exact time in the same exact place, because
everything is always changing. Ah, change, you suck. Like some philosopher
whose name currently escapes me said, “You can never step in the same river
twice”.
I guess that’s a good thing
since it makes every experience unique and irreplaceable. And believe me, this
trip has definitely been unique and irreplaceable. I’ve had an incredible time and can’t wait to
travel everywhere, learn about other cultures and challenge myself. But in the
meantime, I plan on being extremely nostalgic for a few weeks and hibernating
in my house with some home-cooked meals and Netflix. Peace out Cape Town.
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