When I hear “Ocean View,” I’ll
always think of Lantor, Thelma, and Xavier. And I’ll think of the nonchalant
nature with which they opened up their home to complete strangers. Katrina and
I were welcomed in the same manner as their family and local friends–joked with
immediately, offered a seat on a couch, and told we would serve ourselves. We
were welcomed as part of the household instead of pampered as foreign guests.
The experience was refreshing.
I’m friendly but I’m shy, and so I
often take a while to open up to strangers. But Lantor and Thelma laughed
easily. Married 15 years, they live in the house Lantor purchased from his
grandparents. They have a sky blue truck lounging in their driveway, now broken
for several months. And while they’re
saving up for a new one, they refuse to fix it. Thelma pitched the importance
of family time, of simply relaxing, and of the drastic impact that broken truck
had made in those departments. She
explained something along the lines of “We had more friends because people used
to hop in the truck, and we were never home. Or together, for that matter.
Xavier went there for a few hours, Lantor and I somewhere else . . . It’s
better now.” Her explanation of a hectic “on-the-go” lifestyle hit a note I,
like many, know too well. And so we enjoyed our Thursday night simply, just
sitting and chatting by the TV.
On Friday, I had the most wonderful
Valentine’s Day. No, not romantic . . .but utterly adorable. We volunteered
with a local crèche. And Destiny, a sassy five-year old girl decked out in a
red stripe dress, became my Valentine. I loved every moment spent with Destiny
and the other 40 children. They had me laughing at their bold comments, smiling
over their excitement on the farm, and exhausted of carrying them on my
shoulders.
 |
| Emily & Sarah at the crèche |
The history behind the crèche
offered something as memorable as the experience itself. Raised by alcoholic
parents, the owner described her childhood house as a “party place where you’d
better disappear and fend for yourself on the weekends.” In yet another drunken
fight there, she witnessed her mother kill her father. She was pregnant by age
17 with her first child. In spite of the world she grew up in, she promised a
better one for her children. And so she and her husband run the crèche, which
houses children from abusive households during the day, feeding them a meal and
teaching them basics. She does all of this out of her own home, built brick by
brick by hand. As she delivered this history, I couldn’t help but notice that
she stated no survival, no good will, and no accomplishment without thanking
God. It was moving to listen, to pause, and to think about those things I
generally take for granted.
We spent that evening playing card
games with Xavier and Lantor. And BS is called Bullshit in that home. We were
instructed to not to call is some flowery name, plain and simple. The guys also
revealed some fun magic tricks, and were kind enough to share their secrets.
Saturday morning, we awoke to a grand
breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast, cereal and yogurt. Lantor explained that
this was their breakfast of champions, their weekend feast–all of which was
delicious. It was somewhat upsetting, however, to discover that the family rarely
drinks milk, rarely gets calcium. That fruit is an uncommon commodity to be
selected at the grocery store. That food is so frequently fried. (Though I will
give proper credit to Lantor’s mouthwatering fries and Thelma’s chicken.) That
vegetables are not eaten even once a day consistently. That soda is the new
water–as declared, “We don’t drink it.” While I’ve heard and understood how
poverty can impact diet countless times, I finally saw it. I also saw, however,
the extent to which cultural norms surrounding diet influence food choice, even
when money is less tight.
Saturday afternoon we headed to the
beach with Thelma, Xavier, and his cousin Gianno. I live by the shoreline at
home, and I keep thinking I’ll get over how absolutely beautiful the coastline
is here. But I haven’t and am realizing I probably won’t. Fish Hoek was
stunning beyond words. Of course Katrina and I forgot bathing suits, but sports
clothes worked too. We fell in love with the relaxed atmosphere, where Thelma
greeted over 5 local families on the walk-in alone. My favorite moment of the
day was Xavier’s beach run. I found myself jogging along the beach, dropping
for planks in the sand, and jumping rope with the largest piece of seaweed I’ve
ever laid eyes on.
We were briefed before our trip to
Ocean View, told repeatedly that we should not expect a lot of “things.” Very
much of this warning rang true. Instead of a shower, there was a bath. Air
conditioning did not exist. As mentioned, the family had no private mode of
transportation. I’ll admit I missed these luxuries in certain moments, but
discovered they mattered very little in the grander scope of things. The family
did have a large flat screen TV front and center in their quaint living room
though. Ironically, this was the first weekend Katrina and I had access to a TV.
So we spent our Saturday evening enjoying classic comedies like “Daddy Day
Care” and “Madea, ” laughing with the family. Sunday was another day of relaxed
cards before we packed and waved goodbye.
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